I Will Try To Fix You
by NiCoLe7409
Summary: Lucas' dying wish is to be reunited with all his high school friends. Will Haley and Nathan put aside their heart breaking history to see him? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**So I sat down to write the next chapter of 'What Are You Afraid Of' and this is what I ended up with. Just something that I've been thinking about lately, and decided to finally type it up. Feedback is appreciated!**

**And as always, I own nothing OTH related.**

Haley Scott walked out of the airport breathing in the fresh Carolina air. She hadn't stepped foot in Tree Hill for nearly eight years; not since her divorce. She had been afraid; afraid to see him again, afraid to be vulnerable again.

But she had to do this; she had to be there for her friend. Lucas was dying and his last wish was to be reunited with everyone again. Haley knew he would most likely be there, and again, she was afraid.

Their marriage had been one that you only see in a young girl's fairytales. The kind filled with knights in shining armor, and godmothers who help the young lady find her true love. That fairytale was made legal at only seventeen, when they were not even seniors in high school. But their lives were filled with bliss; anyone could see how happy they were. It was Nathan's parents who tried to break them apart. They did anything they could to make the marriage miserable, but in the end, even they could see just how in love they were.

And then one day, she was gone, disappeared from everyone's life. No one knew where she had gone to; even she didn't know where she was going. But she couldn't stay there anymore, she couldn't ruin his dream. All that time, she felt she was just holding him back, keeping him from greatness. And she didn't want him to grow old with regret, she loved him too much.

She hailed a cab to take her back to her old life. "Where to miss," the balding driver asked her to which she simply replied, "home." Home was 212 Chestnut Street. It was where the aroma of apple pie could be smelled and where family got together to watch the big game. It was where she lived for the first seventeen years of her life, until she met him.

The ride was short, but staring out the window, so many memories were relived.

"_My mom said you'd be out here," Nathan said as he walked onto the basketball court by the river. This court had become such a monumental piece in all their lives; it was the one place where everything was always perfect and at peace. "Something about a grade?"_

"_Yeah, you cannot be here right now," she protested. This was not happening. First of all, she was totally flunking P.E. and needed to be able to shoot a free throw to bring up her grade and now her boyfriend came to watch. Yeah, this wasn't helping._

"_Why not?"_

"_Because I look stupid," she said placing her hand on her hip. Why shouldn't she feel stupid? Nathan scored forty points some games, while she nearly drowned in the balls at Chuck E. Cheese. Being athletic and coordinated was not a James family trait._

"_You realize I've seen you in that crocheted poncho thing you wear, right," he joked. _

"_Come on this is embarrassing! I want you to think I'm… not embarrassing," she whined. It was a constant issue she had with herself. She saw all the girls throwing themselves at him in school, she wasn't naïve enough to believe otherwise. Her insecurity always took over; she was afraid she would lose him. If only she had realized the irony of that then._

"_You don't embarrass me Haley." _

"_Oh really," she scoffed preparing herself to shoot the ball. She sent him a look before sending it flying through the air and watching it go nowhere near the basket. Instead, it went straight into Nathan's hands._

"_Okay, I take that back."_

"_I can't do it." _

"_Yes you can," he encouraged, standing next to her. "Alright, square your shoulders, to the basket. And you've got to bring the ball up right past your nose like this, okay?" He handed her the ball and walked to stand behind her. "Now bend your knees a little, relax your hips," he directed, placing his hands on her sides. Leaning in, he gently said, "And just shoot." Doing as she told, the ball was much closer to the basket, but didn't go in. Feeling discouraged, she looked down and started playing with her hands. If her boyfriend, the leading scorer for his high school basketball team, couldn't teach her how to shoot a ball, she deemed it hopeless._

"_Okay, so that wasn't perfect," Nathan said, seeing the disappointed look on her face. "But it definitely wasn't embarrassing. It was actually kind of sexy," he winked going to retrieve the ball, chuckling to himself upon seeing her face light up at such a simple comment._

But that was then, back when the biggest problem in their lives was worrying about the grade they got on their French test or making sure they were home by curfew. It seemed so trivial now, when such a horrible obstacle faced them all: death.

As they drove by the pier, Haley could see that they had added renovated the area where she had spent so much time. It's where she went to relax, where she went to hang out with friends, where she first tutored the boy who was flunking math and english.

_She had been waiting for over twenty minutes, where was he? She knew she shouldn't have taken a chance on him. And if Lucas found out that she was tutoring his hated half-brother, all hell would break loose for sure. _

"_Breakfast of champions," Nathan announced cheerfully as he set coffee and crackerjacks on the table. "Want some?"_

"_You're late," was all she said. She was going to take this seriously, just because the great Nathan Scott got away with everything else in school, didn't mean she was going to let him walk all over her either._

_Sighing, he took off his backpack and sat down. He grabbed a box of crackerjacks opening it quickly. Taking out a small package he said, "Please let this be a cheat sheet." But he found that the prize inside was a tacky, plastic, twenty-five cent bracelet. "It's for you," he gave a lopsided smile. _

"_Stop it," she ordered. They were going to get some studying done whether he liked it or not._

"_Come on," he tried again, putting the bracelet on her. Looking her square in the eye he said in a husky voice, "Don't say I never gave you anything."_

_Haley shivered in her seat even though it was a warm fall day. His deep blue eyes were the window to his soul. She felt as if she could really see the person he was, but his reputation got in the way of that. Shaking her head, Haley picked up the book they were supposed to be studying from. "Do you see this book? Because this book is me, I am math."_

"_What is that supposed to mean?" _

"_It's supposed to mean that you can work your whole "I'm Nathan Scott, Mr. Big Shot, scoring my touchdowns" on somebody else, because I don't—"_

"_I don't even play football," he interrupted. Was she serious? This girl was crazy, he concluded. With her strange sense of style, right down to the people she hung out with, namely his half-brother Lucas._

"_Whatever. Look, the point is at the end of the day, all your bluster and BS don't mean anything to math because math don't care, and neither do I," she finished. _

"_Well, does English care? 'Cause I really suck at that, too," he joked. Usually his Scott charm guided him to victory, especially when it came to women, but it wasn't working on her. And he was fascinated by this._

"_Please don't waste my time. I am already taking a huge chance on you because my instincts are screaming that you're full of shit." She knew what would happen if Lucas found out; their friendship would be over. But she was doing this to help him. Lucas wanted to be a part of the basketball team so badly, so she made a deal with the devil. She tutored Nathan and he got the guys on the team to leave Lucas alone. Simple as that._

That's where it all started, where the rest of their lives began. Neither of them knew it at the time, but it was like their future had just been laid down in front of them and they both jumped at the chance to take it.

Soon they were passing by the apartment complex that she had once lived in, Haley could swear a few tears might have fallen from her eyes. That building held fourteen months of love, trust, and secrets kept from the world. That building had experienced a couple that gave everyone such faith in their own lives.

"_Now since I couldn't get you the fancy honeymoon suite," Nathan said pushing the apartment door open. "I figured I could, you know, at least carry you across our one bedroom threshold." He placed his wife back down on the ground to reveal a room filled with candles and white rose petals scattered sporadically. _

"_Oh my God," she gasped speechless. _

"_I wanted everything to be perfect. I know you didn't get your dream wedding, or your dream honeymoon," he said, stuffing his hands in his pocket. He wanted to give her the world, but he couldn't; so he did the best he could, with what little he had.  
_

"_I got my dream guy," she smiled up at him. They were simply two crazy high school kids in love, out to prove to the world that age didn't matter._

"_Well yeah, you did get that," he chuckled. She stood up on her toes to kiss him before wrapping her arms around his waist. They were happy._

It was the beginning of something new. Something they had never experienced before. There were people who disapproved, there were people who were jealous, and there were people who longed for that kind of love. And they enjoyed it all.

Arriving to her childhood home, Haley took a deep breath before entering through the front door. This was it, the moment everything would change. The moment that erased all her hard work over the last eight years. The moment that took her back to the beginning. "Mom, Dad, anyone home?" She got no response; the house was silent. She picked up her bags again and headed upstairs to her old bedroom. Pushing open the door, she found that it was the same as she had left it the night she moved to Nathan's apartment. How she missed her room, her own place of utopia, but even her sacred place to hide held its share of memories too.

_Pacing back and forth, Haley finally got the courage to dial his number only to get his voicemail. "Hey, its me," she said into the phone. "Um, I guess I'm just worried about you. I really hate the way we ended things." It had been a tough week on everyone to say the least. _

"_So do I," a drained Nathan said standing in the doorway. Seeing her questioning gaze he answered with, "Nobody answered the door."_

"_They're gone for the weekend," she said, her gaze not breaking from his. Setting the phone down she asked, "How are you?" It hurt her to see him like this._

"_Not so good, can I—" his sentence went unfinished as they hugged. Both on the verge of bittersweet tears they held onto each other like they had nothing else to hold onto. They had both been emotionally torn down and needed the other to build themselves back up._

"_I made a lot of mistakes Haley," he admitted finally pulling away from the embrace. "Sometimes because of my dad, sometimes by choice." He wasn't proud to say it aloud, but he had to. He had to come clean with himself and with the person who cared about him most. Walking over to her bed, he sat down, taking her hand and pulling her to sit with him. "I just can't do it anymore."_

_A few tears spilled down her cheeks. "It's okay," she tried to comfort him even when she knew it wasn't._

"_No. No, it's not okay. I'm not okay. I lived for tonight. I was so scared. I'm still terrified," he revealed. It scared him to see how his obsession with basketball had begun to ruin his relationships with everyone he loved. "Then I saw you. I promised myself that if I could just get up, and walk over to you, and tell you how much I need you, and how much I want you, that nothing else matters," he said breathlessly. That was the moment he knew he had fallen in love with her._

It was times like those that Haley appreciated the most. She was able to take a broken boy and change him into a good man. Leaving him was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. To this day, she still wonders what could have been if she had stayed.

Setting her bags down, Haley flopped onto her bed staring at the ceiling. She wasn't ready to face reality; she wanted to go back to being five years old again and playing with her Barbie dolls.

And as much as she didn't want to face her ex-husband, she wasn't sure she could stand to see her longtime best friend for the last time either.

After she left Tree Hill, the only person Haley kept in touch with other than her parents was Peyton. That was how she learned that Lucas had HCM, a genetic heart defect. And it had moved into its final stages giving Lucas merely weeks to live.

"_Haley you have to come home," Peyton pleaded with her over the phone. "He's your best friend and he wants to see you again." _

"_I can't do it Peyton, I can't go back there. You know what I've been through," she argued._

"_Yes I do know what you've been through, and let me tell you, it sucks. But so does this, Lucas is dying Haley," she emphasized. "What's it going to take for you to set aside your pride and come say good-bye to your oldest friend?"_

"_This isn't about pride; I just can't face the brothers who brought me down. I've already cut one from my life and now the other is being taken away from me," she cried. "It's not fair."_

"_Life isn't fair," Peyton said softly. "You of all people should know that. But Lucas wants to see you, and I think you could grant him one last wish."_

The next day Haley bought a plane ticket to Tree Hill, North Carolina, a place that had become so unfamiliar. She was so scared to be there, she didn't know if she could face everyone again. Turning her back on the small town, she left everyone behind, not just her husband. It was surprising to her that Lucas would even speak to her, after she ran away from over ten years of friendship.

Haley and Lucas had been seated next to each other on the first day of third grade; they were inseparable ever since. Everyone always thought they were dating when they got to high school, but never once did their relationship take that leap._ "That would be like some sort of hideous Joey loves Dawson scenario and totally creep me out,"_ she would always ramble.

But then that day came when Lucas found out about the tutoring; their friendship took a turn for the worse. Over time and after many explanations, Lucas was able to accept it and the two went back to being the great friends they were. And although he had difficulty seeing them together at first, he was finally able to put his feelings aside and just be there for his friend.

"_Uh, okay, you're not gonna like this. In fact… you're gonna hate this. But I feel that I should tell you in the interest of full friendship disclosure," Haley said rushing into Lucas' bedroom. She had rehearsed her speech in front of the mirror and was prepared for any sort of insult that may come her way._

"Yeah right, what could be worse than you tutoring Nathan," he chuckled but stopped upon seeing the look on her face. Realizing what she had come to talk about he said, "you like him."

"_Luke, do not freak out on me, okay? I can't help it any more then you can."_

"_I don't like him," he shouted back. Nathan was the enemy; the two brothers had been poisoned against each other by their ass of a father, Dan Scott._

"_I'm talking about you and Peyton. We don't decide who we like. We just-it happens," she argued. Week after week, she had been subjected to many conversations about how much Lucas like Peyton, but she couldn't do the same?_

"_Do you know what you're getting yourself into?"_

"_I-I'm not getting myself into anything. I am thinking about maybe getting into something that is never gonna happen anyway," she shrugged. There was no way a guy like Nathan Scott would ever go for someone plain like her._

"_But what could you possibly like in the guy, huh?" As far as he could tell, Nathan was a complete jerk._

"Different stuff. We connect. Yes, he can be a total ass sometimes, but I'm telling you, it's just a defense mechanism. He really opens up with me, Lucas," she pleaded. She wouldn't be able to juggle the two guys and she wasn't about to choose between them either; she needed them to get along.

"You know how I feel about him," he said through clenched teeth.

" And I'm sorry for that. I am," she tried to convince him. 

"_But I get it, all right? I understand," he sighed. And he did. He knew what it was like to just run into that one person you know you're going to be with and sometimes you just have to let life run its course._

Now it was Haley's turn to be there for him, and if that meant having to see her estranged ex-husband, then so be it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hales," Peyton cried running to give her old friend a hug when Haley entered Karen's Café. "Oh how I've missed you." She had always wanted to get out of the small town, but in the end, ended up staying there with her husband; she had always been jealous of Haley for getting to see what else was out there.

"It's good to be here," she said and even surprised herself by meaning it.

"Come on, sit, I want to hear everything you've been up to lately," Peyton said ushering her over to the counter. Haley wasn't paying much attention though, something in the corner of the café caught her eye. It had been in that spot for as long as she could remember, and she loved to practice on that piano when she was younger.

_Haley had just finished up a long day of waitressing at the café. Her feet were sore, her head was pounding, and all she wanted to do was pass out in bed. Jake was just leaving after finishing his shift, so all she had to do was close up. Flipping the open sign to closed, she saw her dark haired boyfriend running up to the building._

"_Hey, you're still here," he said walking in._

"_I'm always here," she laughed. "Are you okay?"_

"_Whatever I said last time you asked me that question probably still applies," he shrugged. Things with his parents had been tough. They were constantly bickering and going through a painful divorce which Nathan suffered the consequences of._

"_Well if there's anything I can do to help, let me know," she sweetly smiled at him. Truth was though, she was worried for him. She could see how tough his parents' divorce really was on him, even when he tried to act otherwise. But no one knew him better than she did, and she knew his inner workings. And what scared her most was that he would soon emotionally shut down, closing himself off from everyone, including her._

"_Well I was thinking about what you said, about living in the moment. And I realized that if I'm going to live in the moment, then I just want to live in it with you," he said wrapping his arms around her. Haley had become the one constant thing in his life; nothing, not his parents' divorce or anything of that sort, could take her away from him. "So were you serious about doing something for me?"_

"_Well that depends, what is it," she asked curiously wondering what humiliating task her boyfriend would put her up to. Following his gaze, she saw him nodding in the direction of the piano. "Nathan, no."_

"_Here's your chance. Come on, you said you do anything to help me and this would really help me take my mind off things," he begged. _

"_Fine, but you asked for it," she said taking a seat at the piano bench and getting ready to play. She couldn't remember ever performing in front of someone that wasn't Lucas or her parents; she was nervous._

"_You're right I did," he smiled with satisfaction as she began to play. The sweet sounds of Sarah McLachlan's "Elsewhere" filled the café. Watching Haley's face, so many emotions were seen flashing across her features. He was right when he said it would help him, because it did. He felt so much love and happiness in that moment that nothing else in the world mattered in that moment except for her._

"Earth to Haley," Peyton said waving her hand in front of her face. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she nodded. "It's just… weird to be back here I guess." This was where her life used to be; this place was a part of who she was.

"It's all weird," Peyton agreed. "Seriously though, how are you?" And Haley understood exactly what she meant.

"_Alright," the doctor said sitting down across from her. "For someone as young as you are, your body isn't always able to handle supporting another life and—"_

"_Oh just say it," she snapped. Her life was just going great the last few months, she had left her husband and was now getting even more awful news._

"_Okay, um, I'm sorry Haley, but you had a miscarriage." _

One moment, and her reasoning for running away was gone. Haley was pregnant, which was why she decided to leave Tree Hill and Nathan. She wouldn't burden him with a child; she wouldn't keep him from living his life the way it was meant to be lived. So when the doctor told her that she was expecting, she packed her things and left for New York, never to return.

But then Haley began having days where she wasn't feeling well, and eventually passed out in a restaurant, leading her to the examination room of the hospital. And that's when the doctors discovered there was no more child. That's when Haley entered a phase of depression because not only did she lose her child, she lost the last part of Nathan she would ever have.

After that fateful day, Peyton pleaded with her to come back to Tree Hill, telling her that Nathan would still forgive her. But Haley was too emotionally distraught to go back to her old life; she had to start fresh. So she stayed in New York, finding a job at a local boutique, even designing a few things for the store every once in a while. Her life was filled with activity, but nothing could fill that void in her heart, where her husband once was.

"I'm okay," she shrugged. "It's been a rough eight years, but I'm fine now." She didn't know what else to say, the only question she really wanted to ask was about Nathan.

"Nathan's okay too," Peyton said as if reading her mind; she knew exactly what her friend wanted to ask. "I already told you everything that happened after you left, but he's getting better."

"Sometimes, I wonder why I even left," Haley said looking at the wedding ring that was still on her finger. She refused to take it off, even when she was the one who sent him the divorce papers. Just because she was setting him free didn't mean she didn't still love him. "I wonder what our little family would have been like and the 'what if' questions nearly kill me every day."

"You can't think like that Hales," she sighed rubbing her friends arm gently. "You made the choice that was best for you at the time; you had your reasons. I know how much you love him, because only someone this crazy in love would have the strength to let him go in the first place."

"Stop it Peyt, you're going to make me cry," she whimpered. "And why are we even talking about me in the first place? How are you?"

"I've been better," she admitted. "Things with Lucas are hard. I can't imagine what life is going to be like without him and it breaks my heart to see him lying in bed so helplessly, when all he ever wanted to do was play ball." Haley nodded in understanding. Basketball was a huge part of Lucas' life, but the HCM restricted him from playing. The one thing in his life that he would always be good at had been so wrongfully taken away from him.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in," someone said coming up from behind them. "If it isn't our resident fugitive girl…"

"Don't start Brooke," Peyton warned.

"I'm not starting it," she replied. "Our little Haley here already did, eight years ago when she walked out on everything that important to her."

"You don't know the whole story," Haley tried to say.

"I don't need to hear it," she hissed. "You left your husband. How could you be so heartless? Nathan was devastated; I don't think he left the apartment for a month, and over what? Some pathetic girl who claimed to love him. Well, even fairytales have lies sometimes too, don't they?"

"Brooke," Peyton tried to cut in again.

"No Peyton, I'm not finished," she said sharply and walking up to Haley. "Do you want to hear it said aloud? Nathan was heartbroken. You were the most important thing in his life and you took advantage of that. But don't worry, all his friends were there to clean up the mess you made. We cared enough to take care of him," she shouted before quieting down and saying in a more vulnerable tone, "but he wasn't the only person you left. You left me too. And Luke, and Peyton, and Jake, and Jenny, and everyone else who cared about you. I thought we were friends—"

"We are," Haley argued.

"No, we're not. I may have been popular in high school, but there were only a few people that I could trust, and I considered you to be one of them. But apparently that wasn't important to you because you didn't even bother to call once in the last eight years. I would have helped you Haley, with whatever was going on. All you had to do was ask, and your friends would have been right there waiting to help."

"Brooke," she began. "I had no idea. I'm.. for whatever it's worth, I'm sorry."

"It's too late Haley," Brooke shook her head. "The damage is done and you can't fix it." The petite brunette turned on her heel and walked back out of the café.

Haley stood shocked, replaying the words over and over in her head, "the damage is done and you can't fix it." What if she threw away her one chance at happiness all those years ago?

"Haley," Peyton said carefully. "Ar—are you going to be okay?"

"I—I," she stuttered. "I have to go." And she too ran out of the café into the pouring rain.

The walk back to her home wasn't far from the café, and besides, Haley figured that no one could see her tears since it was raining. Brooke was right, she had ruined the fairytale, she destroyed the happy ending.

As she crossed the street to get to the sidewalk, there was something that stood out. Something that was witness to one of the best moments in her life. It was a simple wooden bench in the middle of the town square where love was professed one night.

_The couple sat awkwardly next to each other on the bench, neither knowing what to say. The last few days had been confusing for both of them. It all started with Nathan's discovery of the 23, his basketball number, tattooed on Haley's back. Things had just been different, but neither of them could put their finger on it. That is, until now._

"_Do you think that I'm a tease," Haley asked. She was so frustrated with herself for making Nathan wait. She was in love with him, so why wasn't she ready to take that next step? _

"_Stop it," he said. She wasn't a tease, he knew that, she knew that, he just wasn't sure why she would say something like that. He was just trying to find the right words to say._

"_Well what do you think?" She had to know what was going on inside his head. _

"_I think that you're my girlfriend, and I like to spend time with you. Look I just don't want to push you." He didn't want to do lose her over something stupid; she meant too much to him._

"_You're not," she assured him. And he wasn't. She loved being with him, loved spending every moment she could with him. _

"_But I am. Haley, you got a tattoo for God's sake. It just freaks me out a little bit, because obviously this whole thing with us means a lot to you. I just don't want to do anything to pressure you or drive you away, even though sometimes I can't help it. Just like I can't help that I fell in love with you. 'Cause I did. I love you, Haley. And it scares me, a little bit, but, there it is."_

"_Wow, there it is," Haley said with wide eyes. She had been waiting for this moment her entire life, when someone would admit to loving her. On instinct, she placed her hands on his face and leaned in to kiss him softly. Pulling away she said, "I love you too." A wide smile broke out across Nathan's face, causing her to giggle and kiss him again._

God, how she missed him. She longed for the days of high school, the days before graduation, the days before everything changed. It was times like these, Haley hated remembering the most. Approaching her house, she remembered when Nathan had been waiting for her in the rain also; seeking forgiveness just like she was now.

"_See you at the game tonight," Haley said to Peyton before getting out of the car. "Thanks for the ride!" She ran up the yard towards the front door to find a lone figure sitting on the steps of the porch. "Nathan, you're soaked. What are you doing?"_

"_I just went for a run to clear my head, I guess this is where I ended up. Look, Haley, the picture of Peyton didn't mean anything, okay?" He had to make her believe him. Peyton was the past, an old girlfriend that he never really cared about in that way. And he had forgotten about a few pictures he had saved of her on his laptop, only to let Haley discover them first._

"_It did to me. Clearly you still have feelings for her," she suggested. Haley hated this feeling of insecurity; she hated being jealous. It was girls like Peyton who made her feel this way too. The girls that just gave themselves away, the pretty girls, the popular girls, the girls she believed Nathan truly wanted._

"_I saved that picture back when we were still dating. The other ones too, you can go back and look. Her web cam hasn't even been in her closet for months,"  
_

"_Why didn't you tell me that last week?"  
_

"_Because I should have deleted those images a long time ago. I just felt bad because I didn't do it. Besides, Haley, I don't want Peyton. I want you," he admitted. Peyton was so long ago, he couldn't even remember why they had been together in the first place. But Haley… Haley was his present and his future. She was it._

"_Is that it?" She had to know, was this for real? Or were they only going to be a meaningless fling?  
_

"_You know, my pride says yeah, that's it. Just walk away and let Haley deal with the fact that she's clearly threatened by a sexual relationship. But my heart says, just forget about your pride you idiot, you love this girl. And even if you're going to catch pneumonia, your ass is going to stand out here in the rain till you convince her to forgive you. So come on, Hales, just meet me half way here," he pleaded. He needed her to forgive him, the last week without her had been hell and he couldn't go much longer without seeing her._

"_Why should I?"  
_

"_Because I'm sorry. Because I love you. And because you're looking really hot standing out here in the rain, and I'm thinking, I have to kiss you," he smirked. Haley smiled, pushing her hair back, contemplating what he had said._

"_Well, if you have to."_

Haley ran into the house and back to her bedroom, tears evident on her face. So many months of blissful, happy memories, had gone by only to be ripped away by her leaving. Haley sat on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest, just sobbing. She cried for her husband, and she cried for her child that she would never get to know; she simply cried.

"Haley-bub, you're home," a smiling Lydia James entered the room, but immediately rushed to her daughter's side upon seeing her tears. She wrapped her arms around the broken girl in understanding. "Hales, it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all."

"I miss him mom," she sniffled. "I really do. All this time, I've been in denial, pretending my life is fine and just going on with a normal routine, but I secretly can't stop thinking about him. Everyday for the last eight years has been a constant question about where he is and what he's doing and I just don't know what to do."

"Haley, this is what you wanted remember? You chose your path, and now you have to follow it."

_A nervous Haley and Nathan walked into the James' household. This was it, the day that would decide the rest of their lives. All it took was a simple yes or no from Haley's parents to decide whether or not the couple could marry._

_Standing in the doorway, Haley turned to face Nathan. "No matter what happens next, I want you to know, if my parents say yes, I will marry you," she giggled just saying it. The two briefly kissed before heading into the kitchen._

"_Well, to what do we owe this surprise," Jimmy James said standing at the counter. He hardly ever saw his daughter between the hours of eight and midnight anymore._

"_Well, we wanted to talk to you daddy," she said sweetly, hoping that her "Daddy's Girl" act would work at least one more time in her favor. She needed his blessing, she could never go against her father's wishes._

"_Daddy? This is gonna be expensive," he joked._

"_Ok, look. You guys know that I am an extremely cautious person…and I consider things from every angle and I don't just, like, jump into things," she paused trying to figure out exactly how to say what she wanted._

"_Like getting to the point of this conversation," Lydia suggested. She loved her daughter, but her tendency to ramble was often._

_Nathan stood up, ready to face the music. He couldn't wait much longer. "Mr. and Mrs. James um, as you know, I'm emancipated from my parents and I think you also know that I respect both of you very much—"_

"_I think I know where this is going and-and here's the thing Nathan; you see, if we adopt you, the making out with Haley is gonna have to stop. At least in public," Jimmy cut in laughing. _

"_Could you guys be serious for like one minute of my life please?" Haley considered her parents to be more immature than she was half the time, and for once, wanted them to actually listen to what she had to say._

_Haley glanced at Nathan, waiting for him to say something. "I'd like to marry your daughter," he finally said, causing both Lydia and Jimmy to howl with laughter. Seeing that Nathan wasn't kidding though, they stopped._

"_I didn't see that coming," Jimmy said shocked, before walking away._

_Lydia was more understanding. "I will discuss this with your father," she paused, looking at Haley directly. "If this is what you want." She knew she didn't have to ask though, she had seen her daughter with Nathan; she had seen how happy they were._

_Haley looked over at her future husband and had never been more sure of what she was about to say. "It is." She was confident in him, confident in herself, confident in their love._

"I bet you wanted to kill us when we asked you that day," Haley chuckled. She had never really talked about it with her parents much, and it was still kind of weird to bring it up now. What were they thinking, asking to get their marriage license along with their driver's license?

"No, we didn't," Lydia said. "We were so proud of you, we still are." She removed her arm from Haley's shoulders and stood up off the bed. "Get some rest Haley-bub. You've got a big day tomorrow." Flipping the lights off, Lydia took one last look at her daughter before leaving the room, and closing the door.

And it was just like back then, back when things made sense. A mother putting her daughter to bed, a daughter who was so in love with another man, but none the less, the same daughter she had always been. And just like always, that daughter was worried about what the next day would bring.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hopefully this makes up for me not updating 'What Are You Afraid Of' :D This is the final part, I had my one friend in tears today at school when she was done reading it lol So hope you guys like it! **

**And the song is 'Fix You' by Coldplay**

This was it, Haley thought as she stood on the front porch of her best friend's home. She stood there for several minutes contemplating whether or not she could go in. Could she really do this? Was she ready to say goodbye to her best friend?

"Here goes nothing," she whispered, knocking on the door. In just a few minutes, she would be reunited with Lucas, after so many years of silence. She was really regretting her decision to leave, now more than ever. In a matter of time, she would no longer be able to see Lucas whenever she wanted; she had the chance for the last eight years she was gone and never took it. Now, it was time to say goodbye, something she never did the first time.

The door in front of her opened, and Peyton hugged her tightly. "Ready to do this?" No, she wasn't; she didn't know if she could handle this. But yet she let Peyton drag her upstairs to the bedroom anyways, it was time to face the music.

Haley was already in tears by the time she walked into the room. There lying in the bed was a tired looking Lucas, whose life was about to be claimed by a silent killer. Slowly, she made her way over to him, sitting next to him, not sure what to even say.

Before she could even manage to get anything out, he embraced her. "I missed you buddy," he whispered in her ear. Her tears were uncontrollable now, freely flowing down her cheeks. "Don't cry Hales."

"Luke… I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry I left without ever saying goodbye, I'm sorry I never called, I'm sorry for everything." She beat herself up for leaving all those years ago, what had she been thinking back then? This must be some sort of punishment for how selfish she had been, that's for sure.

"Haley, it's okay, I understand," he comforted her. And he meant what he said; he understood. He understood her reason for leaving; he understood her reason for starting over. The summer after their junior year in high school, he had done the same thing to her, only he had said goodbye first.

"_Look, I've got to tell you something," Lucas said as he and Haley were taking the shortcut through the graveyard on the way back to his house. _

"_What is her name and what did you do that you regret," she chuckled. Lucas had made many mistakes in the last year, mistakes that hurt other people, mistakes that hurt himself._

"_I'm going to Charleston with Keith," he finally said. "I'm moving there." He needed a fresh start; he had to get away from it all. There was too much history in this town, too much was known about his life._

"_What are you talking about?" He couldn't leave her now, not when everything was becoming so crazy. Haley was still trying to find her way in this new world; the world filled with basketball games, parties, and… Nathan._

"_Keith got a job in Charleston and I'm going to go live with him there." Haley turned from him and started walking away. "Come on Hales, don't do this."_

"_Don't do what," she shouted turning back to face him. "You can not bring me out in the middle of a creepy cemetery and tell me that you are leaving Tree Hill for good; that is not fair!"_

"_Haley, come on, it's not that far. I'll still see you," he insisted. _

"_Not like now. Who's going to go thrift store hunting with me, Lucas? Who's going to buy bad music or lie to the campus lost and found and claim dumb stuff? Who's going to do that with me?"_

"_Nathan," Lucas replied. He had seen their relationship blossom over the last several months and had learned to stop playing the protective older brother card; he too had faith. "And me, too, once in a while. Look, I've thought a lot about this, Haley, okay? And I feel like I can be a better person if I go now, but I am sure going to miss you. You're my best friend, Hales, you always will be."_

Lucas kept the promise that he had made back then, and he warned Nathan before he left not to break her heart. He was so glad to see that they were still together when he finally moved back home, but just a few months later, she was gone. And Lucas played the protective older brother card once more, only this time, he played it for his younger brother.

"How are you," he asked her, wiping the tears off her cheek.

"I think you can probably answer that yourself," she sadly chuckled. It was like nothing had ever happened, like they never skipped a beat. To the outsider, they were long time friends, just catching up on their daily lives, but to those that knew them, they were catching up on lives the other had unfortunately missed out on.

"Wow, two days in Tree Hill, this must be some sort of record for you," a bitter voice came from the doorway. "I would have thought you picked up and left… again."

Haley stood up and walked up to someone she hurt badly. "Brooke," she hugged her. "This wasn't about you; this was about me and the things I had to do to make life easier for everyone."

"Get off of me," she sneered. "You didn't make life easier for everyone, you just made it worse. Everyone was affected by your leaving, but now that you're here, why not tell us the real reason you left?" Lucas turned his attention to this, interested to hear also. Haley glanced over at Peyton who shrugged. Maybe she should just tell them, maybe she should just—

"Yeah, _Hales,_" another voice emphasized. "Why not tell us the real reason you left?" Haley felt her world stop as she turned to face her high school sweetheart. His eyes turned so dark of a blue, they almost looked black, but Haley could still see into his soul; just like that first day at the pier. She could read him like a book, and this book was battered and broken.

"Maybe we should save this for another time," Peyton suggested. "Let Lucas and Haley catch up?"

"Yeah, because I'm sure they have a ton of that to do," Brooke rolled her eyes. "Oh I would say, about eight years worth."

"Shut up Brooke," Lucas ordered. "Haley, sit back down." He just wanted things to go back to the way they were, when it was just him, basketball, and his best friend Haley. Things were so much simpler back then. He gathered up the rest of his strength to sit up as much as he could to whisper in his ear, "he'll forgive you Hales, just give him time; he loves you." Lying back down he closed his eyes and said loudly, "All I ever wanted when I joined the basketball team junior year was friendship. And I found it in you guys. But look at us now, we're strangers," he opened his eyes again to see their images one last time. "Take it from me guys, life is short. Too short to waste it on the petty things." His breaths got heavier, but slower. They all crowded around the bed knowing what was going to happen next.

"Lucas," Peyton said frantically sitting next to him. "Lucas, talk to me babe, please."

"I love you," he whispered. And as a light breeze came through the window, Lucas was gone. They all stood shocked, except for Peyton who was already crying hysterically. Brooke ran to her friend, hugging her and comforting her.

And then Haley turned and ran out of the room; she couldn't be there anymore. Lucas was gone, and she only had five minutes to make up for eight years lost; she felt defeated.

**-OTH-**

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want, but not what you need_

The next week was a blur; Haley was a mess. She felt like she had been sleep-walking through the week. Lucas' funeral had been painful, so many people had come to show their support, but it just wasn't the same. She wanted her best friend back, she wanted that guy who beat up the kids who would tease her out on recess, she wanted the guy who would take her to homecoming when no one else would ask her, she wanted the guy who had always been there for her and most importantly, understood. But throughout the course of her life, it seemed like Haley never got what she wanted.

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse_

So here she was, just one week after watching her friend pass on in his loving home. She had come to the beach, a place where she had always been able to find peace. And she was sitting in the exact spot where she had stood over nine years ago.

"_Someday, this beach might wash away, the oceans may dry, the sun could dim, but on that day, I'll still be loving you. Always and forever. I promise you Haley," the boy she had given her heart to said as they held hands. Haley's parents looked on from the distance, proud to be giving their youngest daughter to a man who would soon be her husband._

"_And now, Haley, please repeat after me; I Haley, take you Nathan. To have and to hold from this day forward," the priest instructed. Taking a deep breath, she glanced over at her parents who gave her a reassuring smile. Then turning back to Nathan she began, "I Haley, take you Nathan. To have and to hold from this day forward." _

"_In sickness and in health." _She was there for him when he had to be tested for HCM as well. The odds were 50/50 that he would have it, but in the end, the terrible disease was found in Lucas' heart, which in her opinion, was just as awful.

"_For richer or poorer." _Married at seventeen wasn't easy for anyone when all they had were minimum wage jobs. But they made it work. And although they may have eaten ramen noodles more times than they would have liked, they had each other.

"_For better or worse." _She broke that promise; when life got difficult, she took off, ran away from the life they had built together.

"_I promise that I will love and cherish you, and will deny all those who come between us." _They both had; they both remained completely faithful to each other. And everyone who knew them knew what a lost cause it was to even bother trying to break them up; their bond was too strong.

"_I make this promise for eternity. I promise that I will keep forever until the end of time." _But she didn't keep her promise; she left him. Without a note saying why, or even just a phone call to let him know that she was okay. She crushed him, ripped out his heart and stomped on it; she knew that. And now it was a matter of how to put his fragile heart back together.

"_Till death do us part."_ Seeing what Peyton was going through, she knew she couldn't wait much longer; she had to tell Nathan. He deserved the truth, she needed him to know.

_When the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace_

For what seemed like the millionth time that week, Haley sobbed again. Living in New York she didn't have the constant reminders of what she had lost, but being back in Tree Hill, every little thing that had played a major part in their relationship was there to remind her what she had done.

As she sat there, huddled up in the sand, she didn't take notice of the lone figure jogging down the shore line. "Haley," he called out as he approached. Soon he was directly in front of her, all 6'3" inches of his tall muscular body. "Are you okay," he asked uncomfortably, but he saw her tearstained face, he knew how much pain she was in.

"No," she sobbed burying her head into his shoulder. On instinct, he rubbed his hand up and down her back trying to soothe her. "I'm so sorry Nathan, I never meant to hurt you," she cried bringing her face up to look at him.

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?_

"It's a little late for that, don't you think," he said coldly dropping his arm.

Haley sighed, her gaze returning to the crashing waves of the ocean once again. A silence soon fell upon them which she took an opportunity to break. "It was a Thursday," she started to say. "I woke up and left for a doctor appointment. It was only supposed to be just a check up," she choked out. "And then the doctor came back in the room and told me the two words that neither of us wanted to hear at only eighteen."

"And what was that?"

"You're pregnant," she replied, her mind registering the shocked expression on his face. "We were about to graduate from high school Nathan, and then we were off to college; I couldn't tie you down with a kid, not when you had a full athletic scholarship to Duke."

"So all this time, I've had a kid that I never knew about," he asked in disbelief. This was the reason why she left? Did their wedding vows mean nothing to her? He said he would stick by her, for better or worse, but she wouldn't let him; she never gave him the chance.

"Not exactly," she said sadly. "After being in New York for only a few months, I miscarried; my body wasn't strong enough to support a baby." Even though it happened nearly a decade ago, she still couldn't believe that their unborn child was dead. "And the wondering killed me everyday. What color hair would he or she have? Would they have your piercing blue eyes? But we'll never know." Nathan just sat there in silence; how could he respond to that? "I'm sorry, I'm just going to go," she said standing up and starting to walk away.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

"Haley, wait," he yelled after her. "Don't do this." He wouldn't let her go a second time, he couldn't.

"Don't do what," she asked walking back over to him. Isn't this what he wanted, for her to be out of his life for good? She left him, she abandoned their marriage; she knew he wasn't going to just let her walk back into his life like nothing happened.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" He had to know why she felt as if she had to keep this huge secret from him, the person she trusted most.

"I loved you," she shrugged. "I wouldn't let you resent me or our child later on in life; I wouldn't let us hold you back from your dreams." At eighteen, she had been faced with the hardest decision of her life, and that had been to walk away.

"But why didn't you come back after… you know," he asked looking down at the ground. To know that she was suffering in a big city alone made him almost feel bad for her; but then he realized it was her choice to do what she wanted.

_High up above or down below  
When you too in love to let it go_

"It was too late," she replied. "I knew you Nathan, I knew what you would do if I came back. Peyton told me everything that happened after I left, so I didn't come back; if I did, you would have just shut me out, and we would still be standing here."

"We did stand here Hales," he smirked and she practically melted at the sound of her nickname rolling off his tongue. God, he hadn't called her that in forever. "I stood here telling you that only when the oceans were dry, I would stop loving you. It all seems like such a lie now."

_If you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth_

"But the oceans aren't dry yet," she played along. This was it; it was now or never. She had one last chance to make things right with him and she was going to take it. "Nathan, there wasn't a moment when I was in New York that my heart wasn't with you in Tree Hill." There it was. "I meant what I said in my vows, I do take you, for better or worse, and I'm sorry that I ran when life got tough."

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

"But you have to believe me Nate, I did it for you, I wanted you to find happiness," she sadly smiled, tears glistening in her eyes. "I would have come back to you eventually, but you needed to find yourself first."

"I did find myself Haley, I found happiness; it was with you, in our home, our marriage. And you treated it like it was nothing," he spat out. "You should have come to me."

"I know," she cried. "Nathan I'm sorry, but I was so scared. I wasn't even my own person yet, and then I was about to become a mother?" It was too much for her to handle then and it still felt like too much to handle now.

_Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace_

_Tears stream down your face  
And I..._

"We could have found our way together," he said softly. "You didn't need to run away; I would have much rather had you in my life than some basketball scholarship." The four years he had spent playing basketball at Duke had been four of the emptiest years. His success meant nothing if he couldn't share it with the person he wanted to most.

Losing Haley had been the cause of Nathan's downfall. Only she would be able to pick up the pieces, but she never did, she never came back that summer. Nathan spent the few months before college locked up in his apartment, only leaving when necessary. She was his weakness.

_Tears stream down on your face  
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And I... _

"I know that now," she continued sobbing. "And I'm sorry, but I felt like it was something I had to do to protect you; I had to protect you from me. I know that you would give up anything for me, but I didn't want that. I wanted you, needed you, to do what was best for yourself," she sighed trying to calm herself down. "But how I felt about you never changed Nathan, there wasn't one day that I stopped loving you."

She had just laid her heart on the line, she felt so vulnerable to him in that moment. Finally, the words she had been wanting to say for the last eight years had made their way to him; finally, he knew the truth.

And they had both been set free.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

In a split second, Nathan's lips met Haley's in a searing kiss. A kiss that promised the future; a bittersweet kiss of want and need. Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he lifted her up and swung her around before setting her back on the ground. Pulling apart, they stared at each other for just a few seconds before rain drops were felt on their skin. "Come on," Nathan smiled, placing his arm around her shoulders.

And the couple walked back to their apartment, back to reality, smiling the entire way. Neither knew what their future held, but both knew that neither would be leaving anytime soon. Their love and trust had been restored, and although they would have some rocky times getting back to the way they were, all they needed was each other to build themselves back up from their emotional falling.

_And I will try to fix you_


End file.
